Not all abusive relationships involve physical violence. Abuse often develops gradually through controlling, intimidating, or manipulative behaviour, making it difficult to recognise at first. It can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, culture, or financial situation.
Being aware of the warning signs can help you identify an unhealthy relationship and encourage you or someone you know to seek support.
1. When someone uses physical violence
Physical abuse includes more than serious assaults. It may involve:
Hitting, pushing, slapping, kicking, or restraining you.
Injuries that are explained away as "accidents."
Feeling afraid that your partner may become physically aggressive or threaten to hurt you.
2. When your confidence is being damaged
Emotional abuse is designed to undermine your self-esteem and make you feel dependent on the other person. Warning signs include:
Being constantly criticised, shouted at, or called hurtful names.
Feeling as though you are always being blamed for problems.
Your partner deciding who you can spend time with or where you are allowed to go.
Being isolated from friends, relatives, or other people who support you.
3. When money becomes a way to control you
Financial abuse can leave someone feeling trapped in a relationship. This may include:
Restricting your access to money or bank accounts.
Preventing you from working, studying, or managing your own finances.
Demanding explanations for every purchase you make.
Refusing to contribute towards shared household expenses while expecting you to cover them.
4. When your boundaries are ignored
Everyone has the right to decide what happens to their own body. Sexual abuse may involve:
Pressure or coercion to take part in sexual activity.
Ignoring your refusal or making you feel guilty for saying no.
Using intimacy as a reward or punishment to gain control.
5. When technology is used against you
Abuse can also happen online or through digital devices. Examples include:
Reading your private messages or checking your phone without permission.
Tracking your location or monitoring your online activity.
Sending repeated threatening, intimidating, or controlling messages.
Healthy relationships are built on respect
A healthy relationship should make you feel safe, respected, and able to make your own choices. If you regularly feel frightened, controlled, or isolated, these could be signs of abuse rather than normal relationship difficulties.
Remember:
Abuse is never your fault.
Controlling behaviour often becomes more serious over time.
Different forms of abuse frequently happen together.
You deserve to be treated with dignity, respect, and kindness.
Where to find support
If any of these situations sound familiar, you do not have to deal with them on your own.
Talk to someone you trust, such as a friend or family member.
Contact a specialist organisation, such as the East European Resource Centre, for confidential advice and help with planning your next steps.
If you are in immediate danger, call the emergency services on 999 or 112.
Everyone deserves to feel safe in their relationship. Support is available whenever you are ready to ask for it.
Useful links: Home - Women's Aid; We are SafeLives - Ending domestic abuse
If you need advice, our helplines are available Monday to Wednesday, 10 am to 4 pm:
PL/LT/EN: 07521857415
RO/EN: 07730021986
UA/RU/EN: 07718612218
This is in line with the information available as of 17/07/2026.